Thoughts

All I have is broken thoughts. Thoughts about how the red light from the fan keeps staring at me, thoughts about how the blanket makes me feel warm in this cold world. I have wrestled with the thought of suicide, a part of me dies or is dead. Thoughts of future plans and the thoughts of not knowing. Will anyone know that I ever lived or will I just be a smudge on the canvas that is human race. I envisioned a legacy for generations to come. All I envision now is the loneliness inside a prison that is life. Money is the shackles and love is the other side of those prison walls. Unattainable, a mystery that only a few people have solved. Drugs numb the pain and “everything you stand for turns on you despite you” runs through my mind. What does it all mean? Who can I confide in but myself? I trust everyone yet nobody. My deepest darkest secrets will rot in the deepest darkest parts of heart. The one thing I do know is that trust nobody. 

Surrounded by infinite bodies, but no souls. Life was so much better before. Someone said it best, “The loneliness deep inside is really killing me, if god loves me why would he put me through this misery.” Maybe its time I gave it a break. Maybe its time I gave her a break. 

one of the worst moments in life is probably when you’re in a room full of people and you look around and see them all talking and laughing and all of sudden you feel so sad and lonely that you can even feel a physical pain in your chest because you realize that they all belong to someone and they all have someone who belongs to them and you don’t, you’re just kind of there

fuck love. 

Straight played. This is what happens when you open up. 

The story ends without a sequel 

And now you know why Technique, don’t fucking fall in love with people ” 

Wish I had a stone heart. 

What a nice dinner with a beautiful girl. I hope i dont mess this up. 

20 Years

Looking back at the past 20 years I feel like I’ve come a long way. But I really hope I can give more to the world and the people around me in the next 20 years. 

You’re word doesn’t mean much anymore, and I’ve lost so much respect for you. 

If the boy who draws

let’s you look over his shoulder.

If the poet

smiles

and shows you her words.

If the girl who sings for the shower only,

hums a song

in front of you.


Know that you’re no longer a person

but the air

and dust

that fills their lungs.


When the world perishes,

and all things cease to exist,

you’ll remain inside an ink stain,

a paint brush,

a song.


— Alaska Gold

bahahhaha

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Kodak Easyshare C913 Digital Camera

Getting outta bed is one of the hardest challenges of the day.

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